Crackers
by affinityreign
Summary: [One shot] Just a little something, kinda short. She doesn't like them. He loves them.


Hey… this is just a thing.. story thing.. fer food.. yea… cuz I'm hungry and all we have in the house are crackers. TT.TT so enjoy.

Havoc – In no way shape or form does Liz own Full Metal alchemist or crackers.

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Crackers

Hawkeye sighed as she looked up at the clock on the wall counting silently in her head. _Five…four…three…_ she saw Havoc and the others brace themselves for the clock to hit twelve. _Two… one…_ _Twelve O'clock_. Breda, Furey, Havoc, Roy and Falman all stood up from their seats and rushed out the door. As the breeze from their run out of the room faded the lone woman stood up, contemplating taking the unfinished documents from the colonels desk and starting on them. A sudden growl from her stomach quickly pushed that thought from her mind.

She heard Black Hayate look up at her and she looked at her dog. "Think we should go get some food Black Hayate?" Hawkeye asked with a smile as the dog got up and wagged it's tail happily.

The two exited the room and walked down the hall towards the military cafeteria. Opening the door the Lieutenant headed towards the line as Hayate darted between people legs and table legs over to where there was an empty space.

Getting her food Riza cast a glance at her co-workers who were over in the corner trying to get dibs on the good food… if the cafeteria even served good food. Shaking her head the Lieutenant followed after her dog sitting down at the empty table. Setting down her bowl of soup she grimaced at the three packages of crackers that came with it. Putting a spoonful of the tomato soup into her mouth Riza picked up one of the three packets of crackers. They only had two crackers in them each but it would be enough to tide Black Hayate over until they got home.

Turning in her seat she took a cracker and tossed it to Black Hayate who caught it in his mouth and chomped down on it.

"Good?" Hawkeye asked as Hayate looked up for more. Shaking her head she sighed. "I don't know what you see in the things."

Suddenly all the empty seats beside her were filled. Looking up from Black Hayate Riza saw Havoc sitting across from her and Furey on her left side; on her other side was Roy.

"Hey there, Lieutenant." Furey greeted grabbing his drink.

"Hello Kain." Hawkeye replied tossing Black Hayate the next cracker before eating some of her lunch.

"What are you doing?" Roy asked looking down at her dog. "Why are you feeding your dog crackers? Your supposed to eat them in your soup." He stated moving his head up to look at his subordinate like she had grown another head.

Hawkeye gave Roy one of those 'And-what-are-you-going-to-do-about-it-if-I-don't-eat-them' kind of looks. "I don't like crackers." She replied unfazed.

Roy's jaw dropped.

"Close your mouth please Sir," Hawkeye requested rolling her eyes.

"How! Crackers are the most amazing invention! Well next to miniskirts but that's the point!" Roy stated dramatically standing up on his seat. " Crackers are perfect in every way! They're a perfect square with several cute little holes in them. They're not overly salty or spiced or anything like that. When you put butter on them they're the perfect snack." He finished and looked down at Hawkeye.

Silence. 

Roy coughed and plopped back down in his seat ignoring the dozens of people who were staring at him. "To not like crackers is a sin in its self." He muttered under his breath. "I don't see why you don't like them."

Hawkeye rolled her eyes once more eating the last of her soup before grabbing the next two packages of crackers. "Because they're dry, tasteless and plain." She said tossing Hayate one of the crackers.

Roy looked at her blankly. Then clearly without thinking he spoke. "Kind of like your sense of humour?"

Now… Roy Mustang may be her superior officer… and he may be a State Alchemist… but no way, no how... does that give him the right to insult Riza Hawkeye's eating habits and her sense of humour.

_Her eye twitched visibly. Her hand wanting to go for the gun but however settled on a different and closer approach._

Shoving the unopened package of crackers into his mouth Riza stood up and walked out of the cafeteria with Black Hayate on her heels.

"Mftath Mwazzatht gfer?" Roy growled clueless to his pervious insult. His muffled words are literally translated as 'What wazzat for?' Which we all like to think he meant 'What was that for?'

Havoc, Furey, Breda and Falman all looked at Roy and shook his head. "You know Mustang." Havoc started "You may be a charmer with other women… but with the lieutenant," he shook his head again. "You just turn into a bumbling idiot."

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Liz- Wow… you really don't have a good mental capacity do you? Insulting her like that.

Roy - -glares- How can you not like crackers? IT'S INEXCUSABLE! CRACKERS ARE THE JOY OF MAN! -dances-

Riza - I wonder if he realizes that you don't like crackers either?

Liz- -shakes head- probably not… but I think he will realize that I am the author of this fanfiction, who does not like crackers, and I think I'm going to make him fall over now.

Roy - -trips- Whaaa! -looks around- What was that?

Riza - anyway Please R&R.

Roy - rest and Relax? I think I will! -jumps into chair-

Riza - -whips out gun- Sir, You have several important documents to finish. -takes safety off of her gun-

Roy - EEEPP -grabs pen and starts doing paperwork.

Liz- nice. Very nice.


End file.
